From the Archives - What Ten Years of Spiritual Direction Has Taught Me
I have been a spiritual director for ten short years. I was very young when I was trained in spiritual direction (30!) and I am still young in experience and wisdom. (40!) Recently, the Abbot of the Benedictine monastery that trained me in spiritual direction passed away. For the first time, I know what it is to lose a parent. He was and remains a Father to me. So in remembrance and thanksgiving for Abbot David, I want to share what little I have learned since he trained to me to be a soul friend or "spiritual director." Here is what I know so far about how our souls wither or thrive.....
Be very, very careful about "waiting for the right fit." Whether it's for love or for a job or an experience of community or a season of life. Fullness in life and maturity in love comes not from asking others or circumstances to be what we want them to be before we choose into them. Fullness in life comes by letting ourselves be shaped by our own choice to be where we are NOW, to be happy NOW, to give what we have NOW. As we go, so we will end. It is not so much that tomorrow needs to be different but that we need to be different today. If you want the fullness of a "right fit," you will never be closer to it than you are right now.
Sin is always a failure to grow in love. Always.
Keep a simple rule of prayer. SIMPLE. Stop at least once a day and turn towards God with intention. Give thanks. Pray the "Our Father." (I guarantee that if you consistently pray, "Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done" it will change you. ) Find a simple way to turn your heart towards Him daily and consistently. As the saying goes, "Keep the rule and the rule will keep you." Don't gorge on big prayers and quiet times one day, then effectively ignore Him for the next week. Quietly, steadily, slowly train your heart towards Him - towards Love.
When in doubt about what to have as a rule of prayer: Give thanks. Give thanks. And then give thanks again. Which brings me to....
Keep a sharp, sharp look out for bitterness. It will choke out and poison every other good plant in its path. It likes to hide in socially acceptable forms of cynicism or quietly ignoring that person you don't like or finding yourself always the victim of another's unkindness.Look at the fruit of your life, the fruit of your heart and attitudes to yourself and others. Christ said, "With the measure you use, so it will be measured to you." It's not a threat; it's just the simple law of cause and effect. If you are ungenerous to others, then you will be to yourself. If you are generous with yourself, then you will be to others. Plain and simple.
Discipleship is a long process of shedding all our own concepts of who God is so that we might encounter God as He is. It is training our hearts to have no other loves but He-Who-Is-Love. That sounds romantic but is in fact very painful. If we think we know God well enough, then we think we can predict what He will do. We find this to be false when He does something we don't expect - especially something painful. When you find yourself at that place, take comfort that you are actually closer to Him than you feel and that He is, in fact, better than you imagined Him to be. It's dark but a good kind of darkness. Don't run and don't blame. Be gentle towards yourself and just stay with it. (and eat alot of chocolate if you need to....)
That's it. That's what I've got so far. Thank you, Abbot David for sending me off on the good and ancient path. I look forward to seeing your face again in glory.
Comments
Post a Comment